“A woman of substance” – that is the tag line of India’s high profile beauty pageant – Femina Miss India. Fashion world is all about eye candy where tall and skinny girls in sparse cloths provide ample entertainment. They twirl, swirl, wave and pose endlessly. To their credit, the contestants put in a lot of efforts to perfect every aspect of their personality. From elegant cat walks to eloquent answers and everything in between. But calling them “women of substance” is little too much praise – in my opinion. So I was surprised to read this story of this year’s winner. It is a story of a mother’s courage and her daughters’ determination. The woman went through emotional and physical abuse, gave up the social security blanket of being a married woman, worked day and night to put bread on the table for her daughters. It has everything required for making of a Bollywood blockbuster – the evil in-laws, painful poverty, challenges and obstacles, and finally a glorious ending. It is almost like a fairytale, only better, because it is real. She is a woman of substance in true sense.

I am thinking of my mom today as the world celebrate motherhood, reflecting on her life and how it has shaped my personality and impacted my life. There are so many things that I have learned from her. And many more I have yet to learn.

She has worked hard all her life. She worked while in college to support her family, continued working after marriage to be financial independent. Did not spend much on herself and saved for our education. Even today she continues to work tirelessly just because she cannot imagine not doing anything. You will rarely see her relaxing. After a day’s of hardwork she watches TV for half an hour or so. Even then she has to do some work – like cleaning and cutting veggies for next day.

She learned cooking after her marriage. Though cooking is not her hobby, she enjoys trying new recipes. My brother and I joke that for mom our kitchen is a lab and our taste buds Guinea pigs. That is just to tease her. She makes some pretty good stuff. She has a long list of signature dishes. The soups, the fish frys, the fried rices, the raitas, the prawn rolls. And I have yet to eat chapatis lighter and softer than hers. Unfortunately the talent was not passed to the next generation. Nor will be the recipes. She makes all those things perfectly delicious every single time; yet she cannot tell me the proportion of the ingredients/spices. “How much water do I add for 8 tomatoes?” I inquire as I attempt the tomato saar. “little bit” comes the reply. “What do you mean little bit?” … “Just enough to make it a little loose but not too thin” … “How do I know who much water will make it loose but not thin?? Tell me the exact amount – one spoon, one cup?” … “I don’t know, I never measured. Just eyeball it”… “Arrrrrgh”.

She played awesome table tennis and badminton. She has more trophies than me and bro combined. How cool is that?! I could never beat her at either of the sports. What impresses me is that she continued playing at the office gym till about 10 years ago. Most of the time she used to be the only woman on the courts. A forty year old woman playing badminton with her male colleagues must have raised some eyebrows. But she was not the one to give up something she loved because it seemed unconventional.

Her greatest contribution to this world (apart from me, that is) is her positive attitude. She is one of those people who live by Napoleon’s quote “The word impossible is not in my dictionary”, who cannot accept not trying. Now in her fifties, she continues to do the household chores, a very demanding full time job and is doing MA by correspondence course.

Unfortunately I did not inherit the golden qualities. I am a self proclaimed “realist”. I also believe in optimizing efforts; which translates to avoiding work if there is some possibility of failure. Well, some times even if there is none. Because I am borne lazy. And my childhood memories are full of mom pushing me to do things I did not want to do. All those summer camps, swimming lessons, extra curricular activities and NTS classes. How much I hated all that!! I was mean enough to say I liked dad better than mom because he was lenient and never made me do those “horrible” things. I protested, made excuses, argued endlessly. But mom never budged. I am glad she did not. It has made a huge difference. I am still not ultra optimistic, nor have I achieved anything great (yet ), but I can say that I wouldn’t be half as good as I am now had she not pushed me.

Moms are awesome They are our best friends and greatest teachers. Here is to all the caringly nagging, selflessly hardworking, infinitely loving and ever inspiring super moms. Happy Mother’s Day to you all